Taking a Mulligan

“Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?”

“Baby, I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!”

“Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.”

Ladies, ever hear one of these lame pick-up lines? These ones are all so stupid that they are actually pretty funny. However, being the classy ladies that you are, these lines did not work. Right? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.

Anyway, after you totally rejected the dude who tried one of these fine examples of flattery that would do William Shakespeare proud, that guy was probably feeling pretty low. He probably wanted another chance to impress you. In other words, he wants a mulligan.

A mulligan is a golf term used to describe a second shot after a particularly poor previous shot. Not allowed in the official rules of golf, mulligans are used by just about every amateur golfer in just about every round of golf. For instance, a golfer steps up to the tee box (where you hit the ball) and proceeds to try and hit a glorious shot. Instead, he takes a violent swing, hits the ground far too hard, barely hits the ball, and ends up hitting the ball shorter than he could throw it. Now, this is embarrassing (as embarrassing as getting turned down at a bar) so the golfer wants to atone for his weak, pansy shot by taking another shot.

This shot is struck perfectly, far surpassing the previous attempt leaving the golfer in position to shoot a desirable score. In the golfer’s head, the previous shot doesn’t exist and he won’t count it on his scorecard. The mulligan wipes the slate clean and gives the golfer a second chance. So the next time you are at a bar and a guy sidles up to you and says, “Do you have a quarter? My mother told me to call home when I met the girl of my dreams,” reply, “Sorry champ, I don’t have a quarter, and for a line like that, I am not allowing you a mulligan either!”

Try this out! Try using “mulligan” whenever a situation calls for a do-over. For example: You order something and you change your mind, say, “Can I get a mulligan on that order? I will have the caesar salad instead.”

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1 Comment

Filed under Dating, Golf

One response to “Taking a Mulligan

  1. Paula

    Ha, ha, ha, ha! This is some funny stuff! I have a suggestion: if a cop ever pulls you over for not making a FULL stop at a stop sign, ask him if you can get a mulligan on that stop. Or you can just listen to someone when they tell you to make the full stop. 🙂

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