So you would rather watch Desperate Housewives, The Hills, or Dirty Sexy Money than a baseball game? Okay, I can understand Desperate Housewives because of Eva or The Hills because of LC over a game between Minnesota and Kansas City, but did you know that baseball has plenty of sexy storylines better than any gossip found in People Magazine?
For instance, baseball is America’s favorite past time, but former Colorado Rockies’ pitcher Denny Neagle got in trouble with the world’s oldest profession. Much like Hugh Grant, Neagle was caught in a car with a prostitute so rough looking, that it would be an insult to the male race to say she looked like a man.
How about Barry Bonds’ former mistress getting called to the stand to testify about the player’s alleged steroid use? A common side-effect of steroid use is that they make a man’s “baseballs” smaller. Do you think the prosecutors are going to ask her how Bonds likes his eggs? No, they are going to ask her if she noticed any “changes” to Bonds’ ah, um, you know…
Heating up a little?
How about in an interview with FHM, Alyssa Milano in regard to ex-boyfriend and former Yankee Carl Pavano, said that “just because you are 6-foot-5 and 260 pounds, it doesn’t mean you are big all over.” She clarified in the next question that she was referring to Pavano’s hands but the damage has been done. And Major League pitchers have massive hands so I think we all know what she is talking about.
Now this blog is heating up. But there’s more.
Former Yankee Roger Clemens, when he was 28, allegedly carried on a decade long affair with country singer Mindy McCready…when she was 15! And when he was married with two kids! How crazy is that!?! It’s so crazy that I have used four exclamation points in the last two sentences.
Crazy? All those other stories are nothing compared to the next one.
Former Met, Kris Benson, is married to Anna Benson, dubbed by FHM as “Baseball’s Hottest Wife.” Anna is not shy. In regard to the locations of her and husband’s sexual encounters, she has said “We haven’t had sex at Shea [Stadium] yet. We’ve done Three Rivers Stadium, PNC Park and the Pirates’ spring-training camp.” I love how she threw in the word “yet.” And you know grounds crew and security guards at Shea Stadium might be volunteering for the late night shift.
And how about Alex Rodriguez and Madonna? You got marital infidelity, a 17-year age difference, Miami and New York. She went to his games, he went to her concert. It’s a perfect story for any soap opera. Madonna also “hung out” with Jose Canseco, a fearsome steroid fueled power hitter in the 1980’s and 90’s. Guess she has a thing for ballplayers on steroids.
These are just a few sordid stories regarding baseball players. So the next time a ball game comes on TV, go ahead and watch it. You might just catch a glimpse of the star of baseball’s next sultry sexcapade.